Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A story for preschool

Hey this is not kid related (well not mine) but I love the story I wrote fro my pre-school kids so ENJOY!

This is a story about a boy name Patrick who lived a very  long time ago in a land called Openanana (Oh-Pan-Anana) Now Openanana was a strange place you see because no one had ever heard of fasteners. Now you and I know that fasteners are very useful tools the help us connect one piece of fabric to another, But the people of Openanana had never used them.  Their shoes were always getting stuck in the mud, their coats were always letting in the cold, and worst of all their pants kept falling down! Wouldn’t that be awful? Would you like to live here?)
One snowy day Patrick was walking home and he was so cold because his pants had fallen off his shoes were stuck in the mud , He suddenly yelled “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!, I will not do this anymore!” And he decided to come up with a solution. And what do you think he did?
He decided to start with the pants problem first.  Now what could he use to keep his pants on? (Accept all applicable answers)
 and what kind of fasteners do belts use? Yes!
Patrick chose to make a belt with Velcro, because  he thought it would be easy to use.
The next day Patrick walked to school, and his pants stayed on the whole way! Everyone in Openanana Was so excited they all got belts! Some had buckles,  some tied, some had Velcro and some had snaps. The people of Openanana were so excited.
But Patrick was still cold, especially his toes. He just needed a way to keep them much tighter on his feet. What do you think he did?
 That is right! He poked some holes in the sides right here and added a  shoelace!  The next day his shoes stayed on the whole way to school.  The people of Openanana were so excited, they all went out and got their own fasteners for their shoes. Some used laces, others used velcro and a few even used buckles.
Everyone was happy, except Patrick.  He was still cold.
He decided to keep his coat from blowing open in the wind. Hmm he needed something that would stay very securely, and not let in the cold but would also open up when he needed it to. This one took a lot of thinking but what do you think he did? Yep he used a zipper. He could pull it up or down and on days that were not too hot and not too cold he could even leave it in the middle.  It was wonderful, Again the people of Openanana were so excited they threw a party for Patrick to thank him and they all came wearing their coats. Some had zippers, some had Velcro, Some had toggles or buckles or snaps!
And Patrick was finally warm THE END

Friday, December 28, 2012

maybe too much togetherness

  I’m glad my children are close I really am.  When DISTRUCTOR (formerly lil green monster) and the little princess play together my heart warms.
I like it when he makes her laugh.
I like it when she hugs him when he cries.
I like it when they share their toys.
But wish I didn’t have to remind them not to share a tooth brush….

Thursday, December 27, 2012

your getting carrots for Christmas.

Please stop giving him candy.

The title pretty much says it all. For every holiday my in-laws manage to give my son massive amounts of candy.  I’m not talking about 3 snickers bars.  For his birthday he got a 2lbs bag of Swedish fish, for Easter a MASSIVE chocolate bunny, and now for Christmas another 2lbs bag of Swedish fish.  You bring him candy every time you visit.

Too much sugar makes the DISTRUCTOR (formerly the little green monster) in to a brat.  He won’t eat., so he gets really really cranky and whiny and completely crazy. It takes days to get him normal after the massive amount of candy you give him, even after I hide it while he sleeps.
Today I told him that I was going to blow up a balloon. He had a complete meltdown that I was going to blow up the balloon instead of him, then another when he couldn’t do it. Then he hit his sister with the balloon and when he was put on time out sobbed because he had to give all of his toys to his sister (something I never even mentioned). 

Next year we are putting broccoli in his stocking.

Monday, September 24, 2012

the cleaning fairy, or I finally win one.

The cleaning fairy visits

So the little green monster was moody all morning, so I asked him
“What’s wrong, monster?”
“Mom, mom.  I never telled you this before but I used to have a fairy and daddy did too but now they are gone and that makes me sad.”
“Oh why did they go? I don’t know they just did. Mine was named Tinkerbelle and she would come when I whistled.  Dad’s was named bob.  And ever since I had a little sister she won’t come any more and that makes me sad!”
“ I don’t think she stopped coming because of your little sister…”
“I think she did, maybe we’ll have to get rid of sister”
“But wouldn’t you miss her too? A lot?”
“yeah probably”
“maybe she left because your room is too messy, and she didn’t like to come over anymore to play, she might get stuck!”
“ MOM! I think your right! I’m going to go clean my room.”
(his actual filthy room)
And he did
I’m pretty sure that was a jedi mind trick. I successfully navigated four year old logic and won!
Have you ever had a similar win?

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A love affair with broccoli

A love affair with broccoli

Sorry readers it has been so long I’m trying to learn to balance school home and still writing this blog for fun.

So lately the little green monster has been really interested in temporary tattoos.  Finding myself out of them and in need of a bribe I told him I would DRAW a tattoo with markers on him as long as he promised  not to draw on himself. He agreed , so I told him that he could have any tattoo he wanted…and this is what we got…
 (sorry it's hard to see he'd already had a bath)

What is it? a tree? Cloud? An explosion? Nope it’s broccoli. I told him I’d draw anything and he chose broccoli.

That was a few weeks ago, but I was reminded of it today  during snack time,  he wanted a bowl of whonu cookies and milk. I vetoed that(go figure) and set him down with a bowl of broccoli and a glass for milk. I look over and he’s dipping his broccoli in milk. Delish.
I’m just going to jot this down as a mommy win and hope he always loves his broccoli!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Lectures from children

I hate it when The Little Green Monster lectures us, because he’s nearly always right.

He likes to lecture us about lot of different things.

How we brush our teeth, if we are driving correctly, being to loud watching anything remotely scary on TV, even if we are eating too many sweets. Of course, sometimes this works in my favor like getting Papa gears to always wear his seatbelt.

It goes like this:

Monster notices that his dad is unbuckled

“Dad, dad AMEMBER what we talked about?”

“No monster, what did we talk about?”

“If you’re driving a truck, or a car, or a bus, or a jeep …. You gotta wear your seatbelt.”

“What if you’re not driving?”

“Then you need to wear your seatbelt.”

“So if your in  car and it’s moving you need to wear your seatbelt.”

“Yeah, but sometimes it’s ok to just hold on really really tight.”

Oh boy, looks like we have some talking to do still so we can Amember what we talked about.  What do your kids lecture you about?

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Where is the love bed time?

 This is what bed/nap time used to look like

Ah peaceful isn’t it.

I hate bedtime lately, I usually have a love/hate relationship with bed time it isn't very fun BUT eventually the children go to SLEEP. But not lately.

Bet time is taking 4 or more hours every night for two kids!

Around 8 we start The little green monster's bedtime routine, he brushes his teeth to our little dance party (where I make up a 2 minute song and dance)

we get him undressed because he hates pj's and sleeps only in his undies , we read him a story . We say sweet good nights, we leave the light on so he isn't scared.

8:30 At this point I’m thinking “SWEET tonight this is going to work!”

8:32 monster is out of his room he's “hungry” this is a god possibility because he didn't eat his dinner, he never eats his dinner.

First threat “If your not chewing you have to go back to your room."

9:00 2nd bed
 time- more hugs and kisses.
9:02  little Monster, out of bed again. We have been advised to make punishments bed related so we start to take away bed time related things, if he stays in his room then he can earn them back 5 minutes at a time. This time we take away his stuffed animal

9:04 – bye bye blanket
9:05 – The little princess who has been crying for about a half an hour finally falls asleep.
9:08- He made it 4 minutes! And then came out again now he thinks this is fun.
9:15- ah blanket got back
9:16- bye bye blanket
9:18- bye bye pillow
9:19- bye bye sheets

Now I'm thinking uh-oh this isn't going well, what else do I take away?

9:22- bye bye Mattress
9:25 – bye- bye umm... board under his mattress
9:28- bye-bye crud what do I take away now? He's been lying on the floor. So I turn off the light he turns it on I tell him to leave it off, her turns it on. So I debate do I tape it off? Nah, I take his light bulb.

9:30 – now I have been taken away and the door has been shut Papa gears is sitting right outside the door standing guard.
9:40 – doing better a few tears were shed but he has earned something back.  Papa walks away from the door
9:45 – he has to pee. So we let him, he spends way too long in there and makes a mess, so he has to clean it up he cries. This wakes up princess because her room is next to the bathroom.
GREAT now BOTH kids are awake.

10:00- 11:00 an hour of earning his things back 5 and ten minutes at a time we have to set a timer and we often get small bouts of crying  but things are looking up well unless you ignore the fact that it has been THREE HOURS of bed time but finally The little green Monster is ASLEEP.

But remember he woke up the little princess, who after sleeping for about 45 minutes thinks it’s PLAYTIME!
So for the next hour or so we try feeding her, both nursing and solids. I will do anything to make her fall asleep and stay asleep.
We try just putting her down but she cries and cries until both mommy and daddy can’t take it anymore 7-15 minutes.
We try holding her  with all the lights off, sometimes this works but not on this night.
So  papa or I walks around holding her, sweet she rubs her eyes this means she is finally tired. 
 I feed her again barely breathing and she finally falls asleep and we carefully put her in her bed hoping that doesn’t wake her up… and we look down it is 11:56 

Just shy of four hours for bed time, just 6-7 hours until we have to get up. 

(^ not sleeping on vacation)

I hate you bed time.  Where is the love?